Catching up on Who:
So far, Hide is scaring the living shit out of me. It’s downright frightening.
You wake up in bed one morning. It’s bright, but there is an eerie silence. Not a single bird is singing, no voices can be heard outside, no noises of any sort. Suddenly, you hear a soft sort of chanting. It gets louder and louder, and you realize, it’s not chanting, it’s some sort of rock song. It increases in volume, seems to come from no where and yet everywhere at once, and then it merges into the sound of male voices intensely chanting “BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL”.
You hurriedly stagger outside, and all your neighbors are outside as well. Everyone is frozen with their eyes fixed on the sky. None of them make any movements or sounds. They just stare. You look up as well.
In the sky, you see the gigantic face of a smiling man in a bow tie. His face gets closer and closer, and larger as he gets nearer. The song gets louder until your ears feel like they’re going to explode. Eventually, the entire sky is taken up by the man’s face. The time is now up for humanity. The end is Nye.
“Do I get stress headaches at work? Yes, definitely. From the moment I get in, it’s “Denise we need this! Denise we need that!” Which is stressful… ‘cause my name is Linda. Denise is the other black woman that works here. By 10am, someone in the copy room makes a joke about Kobe Bryant, and everyone looks at me to make sure it’s ok. And I smile like it’s ok. But really, my head and neck are starting to throb. Then I spend the rest of my afternoon training my interns, and answering their questions, like, “Yes, black people use shampoo”, and, “No, I don’t know any good reggae clubs around here”, and, “Yes, Condoleezza Rice is very articulate, why do you sound so surprised?” And, “No, I can’t tell you where to buy weed!” And that’s when I reach for Excedrin.”
Presented without comment.
Lemony Snicket’s short letters for his dead ex-fiancee written in his books “A Series of Unfortunate Events”
always reblog
lemony snicket you are amazing
I honestly don’t care if you respond with “I don’t read” if I ask you what your favourite book is because I understand that not everyone likes to read but if you scoff and say “I don’t read” and act like you’re better than everyone because you don’t read then I will probably punch you in the face
do you ever just want to gently place your hands on someones cheeks and hold their head there in your hands and looking into their eyes and then violently jerk their head on a right angle and snap their neck
Well, that took an unexpected turn.
so did their neck
omg my mom just came into my room and told me that I’m spending too much time on the internet so she told me “I’m sorry I have to do this but its for your own good…” and then she proceeded to delete the internet explorer icon from my desktop I’m laughing so hard I’m gonna pee myself omfg
yes but how old is the sport
Good Mourning
18 x 24 oil on illustration boardAn illustration to mark today’s 10th anniversary of the album, Good Mourning from Alkaline Trio
